It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all

Nah, that is really a bunch of b.s. but when you do find something that you love it can really put you over the edge when it is discontinued.  Cosmetic companies do it all the time for reasons unknown. I sometimes imagine that it is a bunch of mean girls who have lost that high school power and in order to have their "burn book" back, they take away the things that we love. This happened with Laura Mercier and her original Purifying Rich Oil Cleanser which was my absolute favorite until they took it off the market. Why, why, why? To hurt me of course.  Anyhow, they have a newer version.

The newer incarnation of the original is the Flawless Face Purifying Cleanser. I avoided buying this for a long time because of my one woman protest against the powers that be but in a moment of weakness (ok, it was a moment of Dos Equis with some internet involved) I went ahead and ordered it.  I was skeptical at first because it was not as rich as the original but color me surprised, I like it. It is light but it still leaves your skin with a dewy glow. All of my makeup is easily removed and a little goes a long way. It washes off clean so don't let the oil scare you. The price is a tad high (40 dollars) but you only use a few pumps each time so I am thinking it will last a couple of months. It is a treat for your skin so it is worth it. There are Laura Mercier counters in major department stores but Neiman Marcus always seems to be running a gift with purchase so check there first. Saks and Sephora online carry it too.

Does size really matter?

Quite the loaded question don't you think? Bigger sizes definitely matter when it comes to diamonds, closet space and things that can't be mentioned in mixed company. I have always thought bigger was better (except when your ass is too big to even fit in your fat jeans) but color me wrong in this instance. I recently bought the biggest mascara I have ever seen in my life. It is from Too Faced and it is called Size Queen.  The girl who sold it told me used words like you could "shank someone with it" and your eyelashes "will be so big that people in Illinois will see you coming." Of course I had to have it! A weapon and being the Kim Kardashian eyelash double of the Midwest, total win win. Then I brought it home.

I loved the look of it. I loved pulling it out of my makeup bag like I was some super cool ninja makeup mama with the Holy Grail. It looked legit but I just could not handle it. It really is just too damn big! I am not nimble enough to manage it or my eyes are just too small but that mother f&*^%$ was just not doing what I wanted. Yes, it did grab a lot of lashes but it was a messy experience.  Once I finally got it on (and removing the Courtney Love makeup marks were all over my face) I tried it for a few days. Not a fan. Super flaky and didn't have any longevity.  Size does matter but in this case I was not up to the challenge and clearly not cut out to be a Size Queen makeup Jedi Master.

Snow White Complex (not the one that likes short dudes)

Ok, here's the details. Once upon a time many moons ago this girl had dark hair. At around age 20 my hair started to betray me by (I write this with tears in my eyes) going gray. We went to counseling, sought individual plucking seminars, tried blonde highlights and then finally while being both mentally and physically exhausted actually came to the point where I thought I should just let it do what it had to do. I am proud of those 7 hours that I spent allowing it and look at is as a big moment of personal and spiritual growth. Of course in between these bouts of insanity I would dye it back to its original color just so I could remember the good old days of raven like locks. Now I am on a strict program of having it done professionally but those pesky grays come back like Lindsay Lohan goes to court, like all the time!

People let me introduce you to my best friend that I discovered while perusing the drug store aisles.  It is John Frieda Brilliant Brunette Liquid Shine Color Glaze. This little miracle, or as I like to call it St Frieda the Patron Saint of Lost Color, is the best kept secret in the hair section. You put it on for 3 minutes in the shower after washing and conditioning. It adds depth and super shine to dark hair and also makes your salon color last even longer. The price is right as it is under 10 bucks. You can find it at CVS, Walgreens and Target. Make sure you wear sunglasses when you leave the house after using. The glare of your fabulously glossy hair might be too bright for your peepers.

Tom Hanks and his love for Wilson

Remember that movie where Tom Hanks gets stranded on an island with a ball named Wilson? He really loved that ball and in some deleted scenes I am pretty sure their relationship was not totally platonic.  I ate a jelly sandwich when I saw it because:
A. His highlights were amazing
B. He had an awesome golden tan
C. He was obviously getting the exfoliation of his life with all that sand
D. He drank coconut water which although I think tastes disgusting seems to be all the rage in Hollywood so lets face it, homeboy started a trend. And look how much weight he lost!
E. When he finally had to leave the amazing spa vacation he came back to Helen Hunt and found that she had moved on. Dodged that bullet because she always seemed like a bitch to me. (I know its a movie but still!)

This is an amazing mascara by Too Faced called Lashgasm. It is so fabulous that even my 8 year old said that my lashes looked like a spider which was exactly what I wanted. It takes your old stubby lashes and makes them long and glossy much like a strip of fake lashes. It was so good that I even skipped the liner. Who needs it when your lashes arrive 3 seconds before the rest of you? I am pretty sure I have found my own personal Wilson. If I was ever stranded on an island this would be number two product. I mean get real, my number one would obviously be something with SPF 1000. I may long to look tan but it isn't going to happen with this Irish girl. You can find this lovely product at Ulta, Sephora and amazon.com. 

Fellini is on line one

That's right people. Fellini's "La Dolce Vita" may be one of the best films ever.  He was a genius. Yeah him. Woo hoo. Party up. But lets really get down to business shall we? There is a new Dolce Vita in town and we need to give it the kudos that it deserves.

 NAR's Dolce Vita lip gloss (just writing the words is putting tears in my eyes) is hands down the best gloss I have ever tried. It has the perfect consistency, not sticky and has no smell. I had tried NAR's Bad Education gloss about a year ago and it definitely did not rock my word. Mostly because the smell made me sick but also the color turned weird on me. BUT, this gloss is the wind beneath my wings. It adds just a touch of rosy color and has enough shine to make you feel glam. It is perfect for day but with a smoky eye it would transition to night quite easily. Check it out. Its available at Neiman's, Sephora, Barney's, Nordstroms and Saks. You can also find at narscosmetics.com

Once again my crazy obsession has led me off the track, I am blaming it on Kyle from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

So this major bomb I am placing on a two party recommendation. First, I was reading an article in a fashion magazine (it could be ELLE, Bazaar or Allure but I know for a fact that they would never run that trash in Vogue) and it happened to be about some of the women from the Real Housewives reality series. They interviewed Kyle and she said something like " Smashbox in HD is what I use for EVERYTHING! It goes from day to night and always makes you look like you fab." Of course, count me in

The second I blame on my dealer and we all know her name. Just in case you don't, it's Jackie my bestie from Sephora. She sat me down matched me and sent me on my merry way with the sample loot. I was giddy to try it and see if I could look Beverly Hills good. I put it on for my very early morning shift and thought, that stuff is good. My skin is faboosh and I am actually glowing...(this was the start of my shift close to around 4:30 so I could have been a little bleary eyed.  Around 7 I did a quick glance and was not feeling the supermodel status that was there earlier so it was more of a meh.  I leave at 10 so I stopped off in the bathroom to check it out closer and I hated it! It pilled, the coverage was not even. I was a sad Baby Jane like clown. Some of it was pooling in my lines which rather than distracting them, they seemed to be proudly pointing out that those lines are not dimples. Not even really long dimples which I thought I had convinced a large of number of people back in my early 30's.
I am going to keep on looking......

Pucker Up for a Sucker Punch Girls!

Ok so a funny thing happened to me the other day. My dealer, Jackie (that's right beyotch I am calling you out on your real name, the name your mama gave you) happened to give me a tube of this amazing Lip Varnish by Buxom. Now I know that I am quite the Negative Nancy about anything affiliated with Bare Essentials (who apparently own this line) merely because everyone who LOVES Bare Essentials LOVES them so much it is straight up creepy kool-aid drinking kind of crazy.

Anyhow, being the basic makeup whore that I am, I gladly took the pencil before she had second thoughts and greedily put it in my bag.

Flash forward 3 hours, (did I mention the words makeup whore) I tried it on and guess what? Simply sublime. It goes on with a lovely coverage and the perfect amount of shine. It also has a tingle which is supposedly supposed to make your lips fuller but it just felt really nice. After wearing it for a couple of hours (ok, overnight I might have had a few) I woke up and went to IHOP and guess what? A beautiful stain was still on my lips. I am sold and love this stuff. I am registering to marry myself so look for my registry on Sephora so I can get every color. That's right. MYSELF. I am married but I only got the china for my Mom and whatever State dinner might happen at my house.