You won a year supply of Turtle Wax!

Remember game shows when you were a kid and the person would win a year supply of turtle wax? Well one can of turtle wax will last you for a year so I guess that wasn't as good as whatever was behind door number 2. At the time I really thought they could open a car wash at their house and give all the neighbors a good wax.

The other day I was having a very non productive shopping day at the mall, meaning I tried on some jeans and for some reason my size was too tight so they are clearly having some production problems because that is simply not possible, and in the midst of my dismay headed over to Bath and Body. I usually only go into that store for the tin of Rose Lip Balm but thought I might as well check it out since the size is always right.  After dodging the obviously medicated sales associate (they had one stationed at the front which is always a big turn off for me and she clearly took two doses of her happy pills) I headed to the back to check out the serious goods. A few years ago they were carrying Henri Bendel candles and I keep hoping it will happen again, but it is merely a pipe dream.  

In the very back corner of Bath and Body they have a line of products from Dr Patricia Wexler. She is one of those dermatologists that you see on various Oprah type shows. They had a deal that if you spend 35 bucks on one of her products you can get this jar of fancy pink stuff for a lowered price. It normally runs 150, so of course I just had to have it. The full name is this: 

Patricia Wexler M.D. Dermatology MMPi.20™ Skin Regenerating Serum 3.4 oz.  

I cannot say enough about this stuff. It melts right into your skin, feels really lovely on and I believe my skin looks dewy.  It really works well with your moisturizer as it doesn't feel like you have too much on your face and there is no caking or flaking.  It is a big jar so it should  last a long time. It is a definite must have. 

It's Always Sunny in Lincoln Nebraska

I have a job that requires me to wake up at 3:45 in the morning. Now I know that people assume because of my lovely disposition that I wake up like a Disney Princess with little woodland animals helping me make my bed and get dressed. This is a very easy misconception to have but it is not the truth.  In reality, when I wake up the only thing that is Hollywood about me is the stunning resemblance to Nick Nolte's mug shot. Yes, the one with the beer stained shirt and stringy hair all eschew.

To take the edge off the shock of my early morning viewing I love to have things around me that are unique and fun.  I stumbled across this delightful set of brushes from Sonia Kashuk's line at Target. Her brushes are a nice price (this set is 14.99), work very well and stand the test of being cleaned often without falling apart. (I have had a blush brush of hers from the Clinton Administration that is still in great shape). Her line of cosmetic brushes are one of the best kept secrets in cosmetics because they rival several of the big department store lines at around 1/3 the price. What I love most about this particular set of brushes is that they look like blue and white china, kind of antique yet whimsical. And of course they add a certain elegance to your morning routine. Beautiful!

The Higher The Hair The Closer to God

I am not going to sugar coat it, the sleek hair of the early 2000's were not fun for me. Every time I would get my hair done they would flat iron it and I would look like an escapee from a mental institution who was only allowed a cup of water to wash my hair for fear that I would drown in it. How I craved the big hair of the 80's! I really tried to resist letting my hair get super big so as to not look like someone who was stuck in a Bruce Springsteen song still loving high school. (which I didn't, high school was a perpetual bad hair day)

So now all bets are off and what a relief it is. I can let my big hair freak flag fly and it feels fabulous. (please ignore the fact that my hair is chin length)  For a little extra va-va-voom I have found this lovely bottle of serum which is sure to make your hair be thick and full. It is from Bumble and Bumble and is called (really) Thickening Serum.  A little of this everyday is what you need to give you a winning coif.  Be patient as it can take a few weeks to see the difference.  Next thing you know someone will be saying "love your hair, hope it wins." And we all want to be winning, duh.

I Love the Smell of Jerry Garcia in the Morning

Awww, patchouli. The smell truly brings me back to the days when I was supposed to be attending Dominican College and instead was following the Grateful Dead and selling peanut butter sandwiches for a dollar or whatever anyone would trade me.  Although I never made much money I did score free tickets, lots of crystals and the ability to not shave my arm pits for an entire year. Because of said arm pit hair and lack of running water I did what only a girl could do while sporting a tie dyed Guess dress, masked the odor with patchouli oil. The smell of patchouli is a very controversial subject along the same lines of whether or not Katie Holmes is now a robot and why doesn't Jennifer Lopez realize that Marc Anthony is really Skeletor and who really cares if Jennifer Aniston is a spinster because lets face it, she looks pretty darn happy to me and if I had that body I could care less about having a steady dude.

Anyway, I love the smell of patchouli and I have finally found a family friendly (meaning that I don't smell like a dead hippie to my hubby) scent in a luxurious cream.  It is available at Target and made by Boots. It is Patchouli and Lavender and it leaves just enough scent on your skin that you can enjoy the free loving smell without overpowering those around you with your earthiness.  The best part is that it is under 10 bucks and you really feel pampered after using it. It smells delicious and it is very thick so perfect for the cold winter months when your skin needs some extra love. Like love that only a Sugar Magnolia from Uncle John's Band would dig!

A funny thing happened on my way to buy drugs...

It was that time of the month again. Yes, time to go on a big drug binge. We have pills for our nerdy side (allergies), pills for our old man side (cholesterol) and some pills to make Mommy happy (no comment). While waiting for my numerous refills to process I took a gander at the Walgreens supply of cosmetics. (really, what was I supposed to do? Look at lawn ornaments?) 

Somewhere between Physicians Formula and Rimmel of London a light bulb went off.  In the most recent issue of Vogue I had admired a models lipstick and found that it was a Revlon Lipstain and LipBalm called Gothic. Could it  look that good in real life without airbrushing and a professional applying it?  I decided to roll the dice and try it out. (this happened as soon as I hit the parking lot because I just had to know) Alas, I was not disappointed. It is a pure, light and clean looking red lipstain that truly stays put.  You have to apply it expertly as it dries fast (seriously, 30 seconds) and then you can use the balm to keep your lips from drying out. The balm has a nice thick consistency and also lasts a long time.  I have been wearing it for 5 hours and it is still staying put. A really lovely surprise for under 10 bucks. 

Madge from Palmolive would cry happy tears over this one

A kiss on the hand may be quite continental but old lady hands are never a girls best friend.  For anyone out there that hasn't read that old hands age you put your hand up. Any takers? Just as I thought. Crickets. This is a neglected appendage that is the last thing we think about with our days filled with combating wrinkles on our face and trying to get our asses back to the days when we knew the lyrics to Madonna's "Like a Virgin".

I do not have the magic solution but I have found a hand creme that deserves attention. It is L'Occitane Shea Butter Hand Creme and it is in two words simply divine.  It comes in a tube which looks incredibly chic so when you whip it out people are sure to think you are some kind of fabulous. (which of course you are) It smells yummy and a little goes a long way. It really makes a difference with your hands and they look marvy right away.  They have free standing stores but you can also buy it at the little slice of Heaven that we like to call Sephora.  Plus I have given this as a gift to several people and trust me, they are loving this hot mess for it!

It's like magic y'all

When it comes to information about concealer's I am like Kate Hudson between boyfriends, you know, desperate.  I really want to like concealer and everyone knows that I need concealer but I never felt like I could find one that didn't look like I was auditioning for a spot with the Ringling Brothers or as Baby Jane The Remake.  I have a drawer full of more rejects than John Mayer's booty calls. 

Around 4 months ago I bought a little set of Benefit products from Sephora. It came with generous samples of High Beam (love) and Posie Tint (check love again).  It also had a pot of Erase Paste which has the consistency of tile grout.  Yet I was curious because I had read a lot of positive reviews of this product. Guess what? It works. The trick is moderation.  And by moderation I mean the tiniest possible amount that you can apply.  What you want to do is apply your eye cream and let is set for a good five minutes.  Then take a DAB of this product and pat, pat, pat until it melts into your skin. When you first put it on you may be skeptical because it seems that the color won't match (I am on the fair side and I have the Erase Paste in medium) but give it a chance to set. It really settles in like a dream and doesn't look cakey or make the little lines become a big problem. Plus, one pot of this will last you a very long time. At least as long as Kate Hudson's next three relationships. (about a year all together)